Breaking Free is Key.

My philosophy of life differs so vastly from those of my peers and fellow humans that I often feel as if I'm a different species entirely. Again and again I find myself at the point of being able to identify far more variances than similarities with what seems to be the norm. It's as if the world has been sedated and placed within a giant glass cage like animals in a zoo. People race about from one place to the next performing tasks that they have to do. But all they are really doing is occupying the hamster wheel. Running and running in circles, turning the very gears on the clock that sweats off seconds never to be retrieved, turning the hands on the time that remains in what they call "life". Yet, never really grasping the concept of what life is about. Never recognizing the pointlessness in their complacency. And here I stand, on the outside looking in. Tapping on the glass and shouting for them to break free, but they don't care to hear me. I send my thoughts in the solitude of the streams and whisper my words into the whipping winds hoping that a heart beats quietly enough to receive them and a mind rests open enough to accept them. And to the wind I whisper, and from the mountaintops I shout, and from this place of pure emotion and selflessness and sureness I plead and urge and quietly hope, and from the outside looking in this is what I see, and all I ask is that you silence your mind, your ego, your identity, and just for a moment stop running and listen, listen to the breeze. And hear me.

From the outside I see that emotion is such a beautiful thing, yet one does everything in their power to conceal it, to not feel it and that strays beyond my realms of understanding. Why would one hide what makes them human? The human absolutes that crying is associated with weakness and ongoing happiness or an iron heart are signs of strength is so far from the truth it blows my mind. These thoughts must have been injected in the sedations that the population seems to have undergone. To truly feel something is what creates the moments that become memories despite the cause. If a moment real or fictional makes you cry, then cry. If you love someone, let them know. I don't understand why signs of affection are frowned upon. Since when does it make someone weak if they care deeply for another person? The power of love is so incredibly underestimated to the point that people no longer realize it's effect or care to make it known.

Over the years emotions like love and kindness and solemnity have been twisted and transformed into things that they are not. Kindness doesn't imply flirtation. These days if I talk to a peer I've never met, they assume I have ulterior motives that simply do not exist. It disappoints me that we live in a time where kindness is questioned and the inquiry for an honest friendship is more frequently turned down than given a chance. Furthermore, the expression of love is vanishing. I join those of you on the inside when it comes to this because there are a handful of people I would give my life for and many of them have no idea that I care so deeply, that I love them. I hate how "love" has become such a touchy word. There's a surprisingly common misconception that there is only one type of love, which is really quite far from the truth. I don't love the people I mentioned in in the romantic sense of the word; I love them in the sense that if it was my life or theirs, I would choose theirs. I fall in love with strangers without knowing their name or even exchanging a word because I recognize the beauty in humanity that they represent. It is okay to love. Love shouldn't be shameful. It should be expressed; it should be known.

In our culture, why is the picture on the left more readily acceptable than the picture on the right? Why is the expression of hate easier to stomach than the display of affection? I'm tapping on the glass and whispering to silence the hearts filled with hate and promote the expression of joy and kindness and sorrow but the sedated are too concerned with their reputation and self-image to care to notice.

If people realized how little we mean to the universe, perhaps they'd finally recognize how much we mean to one another. Perhaps they'd finally see how little power and wealth and status mean and how important experience and travel and the simple things are. There is so much beauty in the power of simplicity and an ounce of courage. Everyone dies, so I refuse to spend my life in fear. Death will not reign me while I'm here. If I must go, I want it to be while I'm doing something extraordinary, which is exactly how I intend on living my life. I refuse to back down from a challenge or shy away from something that lies outside of my comfort zone. I have big plans and I will never let the cons keep me from embarking. Comfort is a vice that I do not plan on letting rule my life. Why more people don't share this attitude is beyond me. We created this system, we have the power to live outside of it. It's meaningless. In the grand scheme of things, humanity doesn't matter. We make such a huge deal over nothing. We were placed on this planet to explore, implore, create, test the limits, break them and to fucking live. So many people are content with merely existing that they don't even know what it is to live. The difference between the two is rarely even recognized.

People have so much potential that they just throw away when they make the decision to just settle. So many incredible things could be created, so many dreams could be realized. The sedated are not only brainwashed, but enslaved and shackled to the system. I refuse to live within it but I am terrified at the thought of falling short of what I'm capable of. People expect big things from me and I intend on delivering. I want to do nothing less than change the world. Because in the end, that is a very minimal thing to do when the world itself is meaningless. I'm on the outside looking in, but the solitude provides great space for thinking, for creating, for observing. Such great variances between me and seemingly everyone I know gives me great advantages to rewrite the system I will never be content on living within.

I shout from mountaintops and whisper to the wind all these thoughts that have festered within and erupted uncontrollably like Pompeii itself. Fragments of words and disconnected ideas rain down accompanied by great darkness, but let these sentences of hot controversy and somewhat radical ideas shine bright as lava and help guide the way. My hope is that you have bought in to my philosophies and have been rewarded with a wealth of knowledge that is only exchangeable for your freedom. Step away from the hamster wheel, leave complacency in the past, tear off the gas mask, awake from sedation, join me and break free at last. Breaking free is merely the first step but Breaking Free is Key. 

Adventure is Key.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”                                                                                                                                   -Mark Twain

The past few months have been a whirlwind of new faces and new places, ultimately leaving my life caught between phases. I'm clinching onto everything I know with fists held tight when, really, I should be giving up the fight. I love it here and I've made that clear, but my fear is resting on broken foundations. Shortly it will seep between the cracks and become something of the past. I've never been one to live inside my comfort zone. Those walls are built to scale, the future whispers what it entails. Silence your regret, your worry, your fear and maybe, just maybe you'll hear life's calling. It's calling you near.

What comes next is not merely a new chapter in my book; it's a new book entirely. The presence of only a few characters will remain, the setting has been completely recreated, and the plot has been altered. Lately, I've been hanging on to every inch of every remaining page too afraid to take it to the next stage, but it's about time I bring my fear out of place. After all, it's always struggled to keep pace with my ambitions. Solidifying my future has been an unreal experience. Throughout the last year of my residence in Colorado, I've been taking special note of all the things I absolutely adore about this place I call home and it's no surprise that the list goes on and on. To add to it, over the past few months I've transformed into this existential, tree-hugging figure who idolizes organic food, internal balance, and being one with the world. People like that absolutely thrive in Colorado and now I am choosing to leave it all behind. Murphy's Law right? Actually, not so much. This decision is all my own. If I thought it more important to stay home, I very well would have chosen to do so. Colorado is my comfort zone and it's been unwaveringly good to me, but it's time to tear down the walls. My hunger for life has consumed what these picturesque mountains have graciously offered me. I've guiltily exhausted the resources I've been provided with and now I cannot risk complacency. Comfort poisons my hunger.

Yes, it would be easier to live in Colorado my whole life and to get a coaching job perhaps even at the very club I currently play for. It's always easier to settle and to give up on your dreams because "it was never possible" or "it just wasn't meant to be". Many people would be comfortable with making those assumptions and not giving it a second glance, but I cannot assign myself to that category. I wasn't put on this Earth to settle, I was placed here to make waves and I intend on doing so. In order to accomplish such a thing, I can't be content with setting up camp on the diving board; I must dare to jump. I must be hungry for adventure. I theorize that that is where many people go wrong. People refuse to jump, not because of a fear of heights, but because of a fear of falling, a fear of failing. And to that I say, doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. We have this one life to live. Why not go for gold? The view from the diving board may be breathtaking, but after a while we become numb to it because it's the same perspective of the sky, of life. It's familiar. It's comfortable, but what a waste of time to see life always illuminated in the same light. Dare to shine brighter. Dare to dream bigger. Dare to see the world through new eyes. Dare to sacrifice your comfort to accomplish and to become all you could ever imagine. And for Heaven's sake, dare to jump. You'd be surprised where you end up after taking a leap of faith. When that leap isn't taken, we are left with the mundane routines of working to work because what else is there left to do?

People get so caught up in working to live that they forget to do just that. Personally, I plan to start dedicating a portion of my paycheck (as soon as I become employed) to a travel fund. It costs roughly 10,000 dollars to travel the world for a year, so that's my goal. I'll be working to live, but not in the traditional way, in the adventurous way. That's what our time on Earth is for! To experience, to feel, and to change lives. I want to shake awake all theses people I see brainwashed by their cyclical lifestyles. They wake up and drive to work to be able to pay for the gas needed to get there and to afford the home they leave vacant all day because they're slaving away in order to pay rent. The system is broken and I don't want to live within it. They're blinded by menacing tasks: the lawn needs to be mowed, the dishes need to be cleaned, the living room needs to be dusted. I say let the grass be long, let the dishes be dirty, welcome the gathering dust. There are more important things to attend to, adventures to plan, uncharted waters to cross, people to be helped, life to be lived. Now, what say you?

Perhaps this is an extreme visual, but I believe it needs to be seen. Maybe this will finally open some eyes and allow people to realize the excuses and the lies they've been telling themselves to get by. Simply, time flies. Have a bit of spontaneity, dare to jump, go where the adventure leads you. It doesn't have to be some exotic trip to a developing country to promote peace. An adventure can be as simple as trying something new outside of your comfort zone. Obviously I'm embarking on a pretty huge adventure in a few months, but I've also recently began an entirely separate adventure. I tried something new for the first time in who knows how long and absolutely fell in love. My first trip to a climbing gym serves as page one of a fantastic adventure to come and I'm ecstatic to see where it takes me. I didn't have to break the bank to add another aspect to my life and give my character a bit more texture. Adventure surrounds us.

A few years ago I stumbled upon the realization that once we're gone, we're gone. There's no coming back. There's no second chance to see all the things you wanted to see, to experience all the things you so desired, and to achieve all of the goals you set out to accomplish. And in that moment I decided that I am not content with a digital image of the Eiffel Tower or reading about the Finnish culture or perusing over articles claiming how fantastic the soccer culture is in Brazil, Italy, and England. If I allow life to pass me by without experiencing these things first hand, I know I'll be kicking myself. I've taken a long, hard look at the future staring back at me and I've decided exactly who I want to become and exactly the lifestyle I am determined to live. I'm not content with settling for second-hand experiences and because I use this planet's resources and America is rooted in so many ethnicities, I feel the responsibility to immerse myself in and experience as many cultures as possible that make up the beautiful diversities of Earth.

My aforementioned definition of life is to experience, to feel, and to change lives. I don't know about you but I believe setting out with the goal to change lives will undoubtedly result in an adventure of massive proportions. I've had the privilege of having a comfortable, luxurious even, upbringing and for that reason alone I feel the need to give back not only locally, but globally. My means of doing so is through the beautiful game of football, or as us Americans call it, soccer. I've never had to go without a quality pair of boots, Fifa approved soccer ball, or decent pitch to play on. However, many footy players around the globe are left with nothing but some old goal posts and a soccer ball made out of plastic bags or trash, yet they still paint masterpieces with their feet and their makeshift ball on a canvas of dirt. They deserve quality equipment just as much as the next person and I intend on providing it and what an adventure that is going to be.

The last aspect of my definition is to feel and is perhaps the easiest to justify. When you are staring up at the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona or hearing the chants of Glory Glory Man United at Old Trafford or handing a child their very first pair of cleats, how can you not feel starstruck, incredible, alive? People are always asking what is the meaning of life? What does it all mean? I'll let you in on a secret, the answer is in the question. We were placed here to live; not to stare at a spreadsheet for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 30 years of our lives. If you are passionate about your job , your career, then more power to you, but don't forget to do all of the things you had intended to do. Don't rest on the "someday I'll" philosophy because as the clock ticks on, those somedays are passing you by and time is one thing that you can't get back. You only have this one life to live, spend it doing something that makes you feel everything you've ever wanted to. I believe the only thing that will make me feel fulfilled is to dive into cultures head over heels. The feelings associated with that must be indescribable.    

So now,  book one of my life is nearly complete and I couldn't be more excited that the adventure has just begun.  Don't take the time you have here for granted. The world is your oyster and you are capable of anything. You don't have to submit to living within the system, dare to rewrite it. The story of your life is an incredible thing and the best part is that you are the author. With each experience, you punch down the letters with drive and charisma. You have the sole power of choosing the characters that remain and you can paint whichever setting you'd like. Your life can be whatever genre you choose it to be. I've read some boring books in my time, just as I have met some boring, one-dimensional people. I refuse to allow my story to play out that way. I am determined to fill my books with stories worth telling. Like all good novels, it will surely have pitfalls and danger, mystery and elation, but I will never let the cons keep me from embarking. Simply, always remember that you are the author and that Adventure is Key.